It was truly a cavalcade of divine events that led me to being here today.
I was enjoying a common lunch in Park 7, the smell of treated chemicals wafted pleasantly, and the ping pang of the afterimage engines faded into the background. It was a peaceful afternoon and I decided to take out my Abutalizer.
After the 4th or 5th hit of Luny Dust, my conscience awoke and I began to feel the stars boiling in my neurons. At some point I dozed off and dreamt of a fair woman with a good chili recipe.
A resounding crash startled me awake and my heart began to race. The blurriness of sleep was burned away by adrenaline when I looked towards the source of my dream crasher and was astounded at the sight of God himself descending from the heavens.
The firmament shook and my hairs stood on end as he approached. He gently brought his hand against my chest and began to fondle my soul. It was pure ecstasy like eating peanut butter after midnight, and it wasn’t long before I had an epiphany.
God smiled warmly as he rose back into the clouds, but as he left my epiphany cemented even further and I knew what must be done.
Today it is my divine duty to release to the masses, from the fondling of the almighty himself, Lunoid Milk 3.0
It’s frothier than ever, packed with all of the minerals and vitamins, and now comes with a three day divine intervention guarantee.